Stylistas Anonymous

for the fashion-addicted

terrible tuesday. joie de vivre tunic dress. July 7, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:41 am
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I… dislike this dress. I don’t particularly like the pattern or the colors, and I think that the contrasting fibers overwhelm the simple design.

joie de vivre tunic dress.

But if you like looking your grandma’s tea cozy, Cutiemus is selling this monstrosity here, for the bargain price (as far as handmade tea cozies go, at least) of $48. If you wear sizes medium or large, you should be in luck. Whether that luck is good or bad depends on your perception.

-stylistanumberone ;D

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monday mania. satin button down top with sheer chest. June 29, 2009

Filed under: clothes. — stylistanumberone @ 6:52 am
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So… you guys missed me, right? Or just the clothes? I’ll just tell myself that ya’ll missed me. It’ll help my self esteem. Here’s a gorgeous shirt under $20 to console you dear readers about my extended absence (and don’t worry, the whole chest part isn’t really sheer. I know there were some scared readers out there.):

satin button down top with sheer chest.

Hot Couture sells it here, for $15, and this white comes in sizes small to large, while a pink only comes in large. Yes, the ruffles are back, as well.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

terrible tuesday. lola shimmy dress. June 16, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:40 am
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Before I talk about today’s hideous monstrosity, I would like to direct your attention to the right of your screen. See that sidebar there? Go all the way down, and you’ll come across a picture of children and a little button that reads, “Help Now! It’s FREE.” Click it. Okay, fine. You don’t have to do so. But! If you do, you will be helping malnourished kids get the essential nutrients that they need, and all you have to do is watch a five-minute (or about that time… I’m not really sure because I didn’t time it.) preview of a new Showtime show. That’s it! And Showtime will donate money for you. Like the button says, it’s absolutely free. So go be a vitamin angel, and help those kids out.

Okay. Back to this fugly thing. I know that I say that I like ruffles, but I like well-placed ruffles. The ones below are definitely not. This dress makes the model look as if she’s using a pink eel for a boa, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the manufacturer decided to just drape ruffles like tinsel on a Christmas tree. Believe me, that’s not a good look. Just see for yourself:

Lola Shimmy Dress in Pink

lola shimmy dress.

I know. It’s okay, though, because you don’t have to buy it. If you decide you like it anyway (besides my clever, persuasive arguments against it… and the picture itself, which needs no words, really), get it here, at Lulu*s. It costs $68 (You could totally find something better for that price. Just see a Thrifty Thursday post!) and comes in small to large. But I implore you: please don’t buy it. And instead, donate to Vitamin Angels because those kids definitely aren’t ugly. And this dress is.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

sunday shopping spree. sweet dresses. June 14, 2009

So, when I write “sweet,” I don’t mean “suh-weet!” I mean “people will think you are sweet.” You know? Kind of saccharine and innocent? Like that. But moving on: today, I have six different dresses, from six different retailers, and I love every single one of them. Maybe it’s because I’m really into dresses, or maybe it’s because I like indulging in my girly side once in a while. No matter the reason, the fact is, they are here, and they want you to buy them! Well, I guess I’m just putting words into their non-existent mouths, but you get what I mean.

woven tea party dress.

I don’t go to any tea parties, but if I did (and I desperately want to do so), I would definitely wear this dress, with a large sunhat. And maybe some gloves? You get the picture. As the cheapest dress, at $22.80, it seems as if my hopes of wearing this dress (regardless of whether or not it’s at a tea party) are not lofty. Get it here, at Forever21, and you can choose from sizes small to large in this color (fuschia, or pink) or orange.

drawstring plaid dress.

Okay, first off: doesn’t this dress look purple? Doesn’t it?! Sigh. Is it just me because I can’t tell if I’ve been looking at the computer too long? Well, anyway, the reason that I ask so fervently for agreement is because Papaya says it’s “light grey,” which I know must be wrong. Oh, well. Get it here, for $26.99, in this color or a nice navy. It comes in sizes small to large.

black and white plaid corset dress.

Some people probably won’t agree with me that this is a sweet dress, but I stand by the fact that I think it is. Sweet like a school girl. Or something. Get it here, at Hot Topic (where else?) for the ultimately sweet price of half-off! Yes, that’s right. It’s now $30.98, instead of its original tag of $62.00. This plaid is the only color, but the range of sizes includes extra small to extra extra large. That’s my commercialized store! Spreading punk to the masses!

daydream sun dress.

I think this dress can claim the title of “Sweetest Dress of Them All.” It’s white, for one, and it has that pure innocence look about it, don’t you think? Cutiemues is selling it for $52 here, and it comes in sizes small to large.

Cultural Trust Dress

cultural trust dress.

ModCloth always has the most elegant and endearing dresses. I love them. Even though this dress is quite black, I think that it is still a sweet dress for its neckline, ruffles, and darling buttons. Who doesn’t like little buttons in a sweet dress? No, really. Tell me who, and I’ll kick their ass. Ahem. It comes in sizes small to large here, for $64.99.

delightful blue petal like prom dress.

Last (but certainly not least, as you will soon see when I write the price), is this gorgeous, ethereal dress. Sure, the name has the word “prom” in it, but I could easily see it being worn at a fancy dinner or something equally high-class. Although, I’m not really sure how you would sit down in this thing. I would think that the “petals” would be a downright bother. If you don’t think so (or don’t care), Unique Vintage sells them here, and it’s on sale for $88, in sizes extra small to large. But! If this gorgeous blue isn’t your thing, it also comes in white, pink, orange, and black, where the choice of sizes and the price is the same. Secret: I think this dress would make me look like a fairy, and that is precisely the reason that I like it.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

fashion friday. dresses, tights, and ankle boots. June 12, 2009

Okay, so I decided to present these outfits in a different way this time (and future times, probably), by using Polyvore to put the clothes into one cohesive image, rather than a million different pictures. Those pictures were extremely hard to format, and while I do not consider this way any better, in terms of aesthetics (on the contrary, I did like the find the other way better to look at), I do find it much, much easier to do. So there you go. This week I put together a cute, sleeveless dress, footed tights, and ankle boots for your viewing pleasure. Once again, these outfits are put together by category: under $20, under $40, and under $1000. The over $1000 category is way too impractical and works mostly for single items, rather than whole outfits, so don’t expect to happen any time soon. Anyway, onto the outfits!

under $20
All of the items above are priced less than $20. What you can’t see in this picture of those white (“cream”) tights is that they have a lace pattern on them that is quite nice. You can get them here, at Forever21, and they are on sale for $2.99. I think that three dollars for tights is lovely, don’t you? Next up, the dress. It’s $19.50 at Wet Seal, here, and comes in sizes small to large. Okay, so the deal with those boots? Newport News (those bastards…) do not have a picture of the shoe color that I chose from their website. What kind of retailer are they?! Disgusting… But, they *did* have a swatch of the color, which is what is in front of you now. Yeah, that purple color. Your job: imagine those boots, in that color. And get them here, for $17.99, and choose from sizes 5 to 10 and 11.

save $40
All of the items above are priced less than $40. These tights are so gorgeously purple (or “lily,” as Shopbop describes them…), and I love them. Get them here, for $36. They come in sizes small to medium/large (with two sizes in between, so go check it out). Next up, that lovely dress. Lace is a love of mine, of course. I think the contrast of girly and down-to-earth (from the boots) make for a nice combination. Get it here, at Forever21, for $22.80. The dress comes in sizes extra small to large. I really like these boots, as well, although I know that some of you dear readers won’t. They are cowboy boots, after all. You can buy them here, in sizes 6 to 9, from Wet Seal.

under $1000
All of the items above are priced less than $1000. I like this outfit most of all (at least, I think so… I really like all of the outfits, though), mostly because of the boots and the dress. So retro! Anyway, the tights are available here, at Shopbop, and they come in size 4 (which I take to mean the regular tights sizing and not juniors or misses sizing…). Yes, they are foldover, but who’s really going to see that when you have that dress on? Also, I know that these only have one size available right now, but I’m so sure that that will change soon that I decided to post them anyway. So there. The dress is from Anthropologie (after that disgusting romper, I needed something to remind me how awesome this store is most of the time…), and you can find it here, for $128. It comes in sizes extra small to large. Finally, those fabulous boots! Look at that bow! Get them here, at ModCloth, for $42.99. You can choose from sizes 5.5 to 9, and you better. Who better to wear these shoes than one of my readers? Oh, right. ME.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

terrible tuesday. surplice romper. June 9, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:08 am
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What I am thinking can be summed up in six words: what the fuck is this shit?

surplice romper.

If  you decide that you like this, um, thing, feel free to get it here at Anthropologie, where terribleness costs $98. It comes in extra small to large, but I think they were a little too ambitious in offering four sizes when there should only be one: lame.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

pinstripe pencil cut tube dress. two favorite things. May 27, 2009

Filed under: clothes. — stylistanumberone @ 6:52 am
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Well, there’s nothing for Wednesday… Sorry! You know, it’s quite hard to think of alliterations for “W” that don’t sound completely outrageous. I mean, think about it. One I came up with was “Wacky Wednesday,” but I already have “Terrible Tuesdays,” there’s that idea. And then… Well, actually, that’s all I came up with before I quit. If anybody has any ideas or would like to see a certain something that I don’t already feature (just look at the other days), hit me up, and I’ll see what I can do. Moving on! This dress is awesome. It has ruffles and buttons, while also simultaneously being a dress. Wonderful. I would wear this with a cute headband and maybe purple shoes? Definitely mix it up.

ruffles and buttons?!

You can find it here, at Hot Couture, for $15, in sizes small to large. The site’s clothes tend to only last for a couple of weeks, so don’t delay!

-stylistanumberone ;D