Stylistas Anonymous

for the fashion-addicted

terrible tuesday. joie de vivre tunic dress. July 7, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:41 am
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I… dislike this dress. I don’t particularly like the pattern or the colors, and I think that the contrasting fibers overwhelm the simple design.

joie de vivre tunic dress.

But if you like looking your grandma’s tea cozy, Cutiemus is selling this monstrosity here, for the bargain price (as far as handmade tea cozies go, at least) of $48. If you wear sizes medium or large, you should be in luck. Whether that luck is good or bad depends on your perception.

-stylistanumberone ;D

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terrible tuesday. lola shimmy dress. June 16, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:40 am
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Before I talk about today’s hideous monstrosity, I would like to direct your attention to the right of your screen. See that sidebar there? Go all the way down, and you’ll come across a picture of children and a little button that reads, “Help Now! It’s FREE.” Click it. Okay, fine. You don’t have to do so. But! If you do, you will be helping malnourished kids get the essential nutrients that they need, and all you have to do is watch a five-minute (or about that time… I’m not really sure because I didn’t time it.) preview of a new Showtime show. That’s it! And Showtime will donate money for you. Like the button says, it’s absolutely free. So go be a vitamin angel, and help those kids out.

Okay. Back to this fugly thing. I know that I say that I like ruffles, but I like well-placed ruffles. The ones below are definitely not. This dress makes the model look as if she’s using a pink eel for a boa, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the manufacturer decided to just drape ruffles like tinsel on a Christmas tree. Believe me, that’s not a good look. Just see for yourself:

Lola Shimmy Dress in Pink

lola shimmy dress.

I know. It’s okay, though, because you don’t have to buy it. If you decide you like it anyway (besides my clever, persuasive arguments against it… and the picture itself, which needs no words, really), get it here, at Lulu*s. It costs $68 (You could totally find something better for that price. Just see a Thrifty Thursday post!) and comes in small to large. But I implore you: please don’t buy it. And instead, donate to Vitamin Angels because those kids definitely aren’t ugly. And this dress is.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

fashion friday. dresses, tights, and ankle boots. June 12, 2009

Okay, so I decided to present these outfits in a different way this time (and future times, probably), by using Polyvore to put the clothes into one cohesive image, rather than a million different pictures. Those pictures were extremely hard to format, and while I do not consider this way any better, in terms of aesthetics (on the contrary, I did like the find the other way better to look at), I do find it much, much easier to do. So there you go. This week I put together a cute, sleeveless dress, footed tights, and ankle boots for your viewing pleasure. Once again, these outfits are put together by category: under $20, under $40, and under $1000. The over $1000 category is way too impractical and works mostly for single items, rather than whole outfits, so don’t expect to happen any time soon. Anyway, onto the outfits!

under $20
All of the items above are priced less than $20. What you can’t see in this picture of those white (“cream”) tights is that they have a lace pattern on them that is quite nice. You can get them here, at Forever21, and they are on sale for $2.99. I think that three dollars for tights is lovely, don’t you? Next up, the dress. It’s $19.50 at Wet Seal, here, and comes in sizes small to large. Okay, so the deal with those boots? Newport News (those bastards…) do not have a picture of the shoe color that I chose from their website. What kind of retailer are they?! Disgusting… But, they *did* have a swatch of the color, which is what is in front of you now. Yeah, that purple color. Your job: imagine those boots, in that color. And get them here, for $17.99, and choose from sizes 5 to 10 and 11.

save $40
All of the items above are priced less than $40. These tights are so gorgeously purple (or “lily,” as Shopbop describes them…), and I love them. Get them here, for $36. They come in sizes small to medium/large (with two sizes in between, so go check it out). Next up, that lovely dress. Lace is a love of mine, of course. I think the contrast of girly and down-to-earth (from the boots) make for a nice combination. Get it here, at Forever21, for $22.80. The dress comes in sizes extra small to large. I really like these boots, as well, although I know that some of you dear readers won’t. They are cowboy boots, after all. You can buy them here, in sizes 6 to 9, from Wet Seal.

under $1000
All of the items above are priced less than $1000. I like this outfit most of all (at least, I think so… I really like all of the outfits, though), mostly because of the boots and the dress. So retro! Anyway, the tights are available here, at Shopbop, and they come in size 4 (which I take to mean the regular tights sizing and not juniors or misses sizing…). Yes, they are foldover, but who’s really going to see that when you have that dress on? Also, I know that these only have one size available right now, but I’m so sure that that will change soon that I decided to post them anyway. So there. The dress is from Anthropologie (after that disgusting romper, I needed something to remind me how awesome this store is most of the time…), and you can find it here, for $128. It comes in sizes extra small to large. Finally, those fabulous boots! Look at that bow! Get them here, at ModCloth, for $42.99. You can choose from sizes 5.5 to 9, and you better. Who better to wear these shoes than one of my readers? Oh, right. ME.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

pinstripe pencil cut tube dress. two favorite things. May 27, 2009

Filed under: clothes. — stylistanumberone @ 6:52 am
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Well, there’s nothing for Wednesday… Sorry! You know, it’s quite hard to think of alliterations for “W” that don’t sound completely outrageous. I mean, think about it. One I came up with was “Wacky Wednesday,” but I already have “Terrible Tuesdays,” there’s that idea. And then… Well, actually, that’s all I came up with before I quit. If anybody has any ideas or would like to see a certain something that I don’t already feature (just look at the other days), hit me up, and I’ll see what I can do. Moving on! This dress is awesome. It has ruffles and buttons, while also simultaneously being a dress. Wonderful. I would wear this with a cute headband and maybe purple shoes? Definitely mix it up.

ruffles and buttons?!

You can find it here, at Hot Couture, for $15, in sizes small to large. The site’s clothes tend to only last for a couple of weeks, so don’t delay!

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

norma jeane dress. everything i like. May 5, 2009

Filed under: clothes. — stylistanumberone @ 11:18 pm
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So not only does this dress have a bow. It has buttons. And pleats. And ruffles. And puffy sleeves. Okay, so it probably doesn’t sound that appealing to most of you, but I simply love this dress. I would wear my hair down, with a headband, and some adorable shoes. Or something. I just might even wear it around the house, which goes to show you just how much I love it.

like goldilocks said, "this is just right."

You can buy the dress from cutiemus here in sizes small, medium, and large for $44. Measurements are posted on the page. The only color it comes in is grey, but that fact does not bother me one bit. I found this online store by randomly clicking on an advertisement of theirs that was quite cute, as referenced in their name. Check out their merchandise. You won’t be disappointed.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

bow-tie baby doll dress. perfect for that hat. April 30, 2009

Filed under: clothes. — stylistanumberone @ 9:57 pm
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Do you remember that Mini Dramatic Straw Hat that I posted the other day? This dress is even more perfect for that hat than the Nanette Lepore Rain Dress I half-heartedly tried to pair it with. I would wear both that hat and this dress to the beach. I love the beach. Ah, summer, you are so close, but yet so far… Lame.

perfect for that dramatic hat.

If you like summer just as much as I do and want to wear cute things to the beach, buy this dress here, at Victoria’s Secret for the sale price of $29, from the original price of $38. $9 off isn’t too bad, right? It comes in sizes XXS to XL, which is quite a range, if you ask me. Colors include (brace yourselves): white/black, cherry (red, essentially)/white, bubblegum (pink)/white, dayglow yellow/white, green garden/white, ultra teal/white, ink blot (blue)/white, chocolate (brown)/white, and black/white. The dress in the picture is white/black, which is my favorite. Out of the many, many choices.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

nanette lepore desert rain dress. i hate you. April 25, 2009

Filed under: clothes. — stylistanumberone @ 11:25 pm
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“Why does she hate this dress so much?” is what you’re probably thinking. If you even care, that is… Well, let me tell you: I am a very poor college student. Thus, I do not have enough money for this lovely dress. Which is why I hate it. Ahem. Look at it, though:

click for zoom

love/hate. damn.

Don’t you agree? I would put a skinny, black patent belt around it, and instead of these atrocious shoes on the model, I would wear some gladiator heels or something else ridiculously high. Also black patent, of course. And maybe a sun hat? A big, black floppy one? Can you see it? Plus, it has pockets, which I find both versatile and enticing. Reminds me of Chloe Dao, from Project Runway. Super exciting.

You can find it here at Shopbop.com for the magnificently low price of $230. See what I did there? I tried to make myself seem like I could buy it. But I can’t. Ever. Again, why I hate it. The sale price is definitely lower than the original price of $460, though, because half price is what I aim for. No need to thank me. It only comes in magenta and sizes 2, 4, and 8, but you will definitely love it. You better.

-stylistanumberone ;D