Stylistas Anonymous

for the fashion-addicted

terrible tuesday. joie de vivre tunic dress. July 7, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:41 am
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I… dislike this dress. I don’t particularly like the pattern or the colors, and I think that the contrasting fibers overwhelm the simple design.

joie de vivre tunic dress.

But if you like looking your grandma’s tea cozy, Cutiemus is selling this monstrosity here, for the bargain price (as far as handmade tea cozies go, at least) of $48. If you wear sizes medium or large, you should be in luck. Whether that luck is good or bad depends on your perception.

-stylistanumberone ;D

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terrible tuesday. lola shimmy dress. June 16, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:40 am
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Before I talk about today’s hideous monstrosity, I would like to direct your attention to the right of your screen. See that sidebar there? Go all the way down, and you’ll come across a picture of children and a little button that reads, “Help Now! It’s FREE.” Click it. Okay, fine. You don’t have to do so. But! If you do, you will be helping malnourished kids get the essential nutrients that they need, and all you have to do is watch a five-minute (or about that time… I’m not really sure because I didn’t time it.) preview of a new Showtime show. That’s it! And Showtime will donate money for you. Like the button says, it’s absolutely free. So go be a vitamin angel, and help those kids out.

Okay. Back to this fugly thing. I know that I say that I like ruffles, but I like well-placed ruffles. The ones below are definitely not. This dress makes the model look as if she’s using a pink eel for a boa, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the manufacturer decided to just drape ruffles like tinsel on a Christmas tree. Believe me, that’s not a good look. Just see for yourself:

Lola Shimmy Dress in Pink

lola shimmy dress.

I know. It’s okay, though, because you don’t have to buy it. If you decide you like it anyway (besides my clever, persuasive arguments against it… and the picture itself, which needs no words, really), get it here, at Lulu*s. It costs $68 (You could totally find something better for that price. Just see a Thrifty Thursday post!) and comes in small to large. But I implore you: please don’t buy it. And instead, donate to Vitamin Angels because those kids definitely aren’t ugly. And this dress is.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

sunday shopping spree. sweet dresses. June 14, 2009

So, when I write “sweet,” I don’t mean “suh-weet!” I mean “people will think you are sweet.” You know? Kind of saccharine and innocent? Like that. But moving on: today, I have six different dresses, from six different retailers, and I love every single one of them. Maybe it’s because I’m really into dresses, or maybe it’s because I like indulging in my girly side once in a while. No matter the reason, the fact is, they are here, and they want you to buy them! Well, I guess I’m just putting words into their non-existent mouths, but you get what I mean.

woven tea party dress.

I don’t go to any tea parties, but if I did (and I desperately want to do so), I would definitely wear this dress, with a large sunhat. And maybe some gloves? You get the picture. As the cheapest dress, at $22.80, it seems as if my hopes of wearing this dress (regardless of whether or not it’s at a tea party) are not lofty. Get it here, at Forever21, and you can choose from sizes small to large in this color (fuschia, or pink) or orange.

drawstring plaid dress.

Okay, first off: doesn’t this dress look purple? Doesn’t it?! Sigh. Is it just me because I can’t tell if I’ve been looking at the computer too long? Well, anyway, the reason that I ask so fervently for agreement is because Papaya says it’s “light grey,” which I know must be wrong. Oh, well. Get it here, for $26.99, in this color or a nice navy. It comes in sizes small to large.

black and white plaid corset dress.

Some people probably won’t agree with me that this is a sweet dress, but I stand by the fact that I think it is. Sweet like a school girl. Or something. Get it here, at Hot Topic (where else?) for the ultimately sweet price of half-off! Yes, that’s right. It’s now $30.98, instead of its original tag of $62.00. This plaid is the only color, but the range of sizes includes extra small to extra extra large. That’s my commercialized store! Spreading punk to the masses!

daydream sun dress.

I think this dress can claim the title of “Sweetest Dress of Them All.” It’s white, for one, and it has that pure innocence look about it, don’t you think? Cutiemues is selling it for $52 here, and it comes in sizes small to large.

Cultural Trust Dress

cultural trust dress.

ModCloth always has the most elegant and endearing dresses. I love them. Even though this dress is quite black, I think that it is still a sweet dress for its neckline, ruffles, and darling buttons. Who doesn’t like little buttons in a sweet dress? No, really. Tell me who, and I’ll kick their ass. Ahem. It comes in sizes small to large here, for $64.99.

delightful blue petal like prom dress.

Last (but certainly not least, as you will soon see when I write the price), is this gorgeous, ethereal dress. Sure, the name has the word “prom” in it, but I could easily see it being worn at a fancy dinner or something equally high-class. Although, I’m not really sure how you would sit down in this thing. I would think that the “petals” would be a downright bother. If you don’t think so (or don’t care), Unique Vintage sells them here, and it’s on sale for $88, in sizes extra small to large. But! If this gorgeous blue isn’t your thing, it also comes in white, pink, orange, and black, where the choice of sizes and the price is the same. Secret: I think this dress would make me look like a fairy, and that is precisely the reason that I like it.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

terrible tuesday. surplice romper. June 9, 2009

Filed under: clothes.,terrible. — stylistanumberone @ 6:08 am
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What I am thinking can be summed up in six words: what the fuck is this shit?

surplice romper.

If  you decide that you like this, um, thing, feel free to get it here at Anthropologie, where terribleness costs $98. It comes in extra small to large, but I think they were a little too ambitious in offering four sizes when there should only be one: lame.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

monday mania. fergie women’s mission. June 8, 2009

Filed under: shoes. — stylistanumberone @ 6:06 am
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Why, yes. I do have a blog, now don’t I? Damn… Well, dear readers, I am back from a vacation of nothing. Which is to say that it was perfectly lovely. But back to blogging!

Fergie Women's Mission Shoe

fergie women's mission.

You can buy them here, at Shoes.com for $109. They come in sizes 5.5 to 10 in this magenta (a.k.a. purple) leather, 5 to 10 and 11 for the taupe leather (which isn’t too bad and makes a nice neutral shoe), 5.5 to 10 and 11 for the blue leather (which is just as vibrant and gorgeous as the magenta one), and 5 to 10 and 11 in the black leather. Beware this leather is goat leather, which I did not know, so I’m just warning you in case you are vegan or something. More power to you, I say.

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

monday mania. platform sandal pumps. May 25, 2009

Filed under: shoes. — stylistanumberone @ 6:06 am
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Another feature! Because I hate Mondays, these posts will be similar to Slacker Saturdays, in which I just post a picture and a link. Yay!

Turquoise Miami Mama Platform Sandal Pumps

turquoise miami mama platform sandal pumps.

You can find them here, at Plasticland, for $42. They come in sizes 5.5 to 9 and 10. Enjoy!

-stylistanumberone ;D

 

sunday shopping spree. strappy heels. May 24, 2009

Filed under: shoes. — stylistanumberone @ 6:48 am
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Hello, dear readers! This week, I have found five different pairs of shoes, that are mostly black (except one), and none cost less than $20. I guess all that material is expensive? I don’t know. Many of them remind me of those Dollhouse shoes I wrote about earlier but, you know, less expensive. Here you go:

BLACK

studded wrap platform heel.

These high-heeled loves are from Wet Seal, here, for $26.50, as the cheapest in the bunch. They come in sizes 6 to 9 and 10. Four and a half inch heel! Outrageous…

Product Image

women's mossimo paulina gladiator sandals - black patent.

I’ve had these shoes in my bookmarks for awhile, so I was surprised to see that Target still had a lot of sizes. Good job with supply, Target! Unlike some other places… (Charlotte Russe, I’m looking at you.) Get them here, for $26.99, in sizes 5.5 to 10 and 11, which is pretty wide ranged, if you ask me.

jada cage stiletto.

With way more straps than the rest and a heel that’s more than five inches, these shoes are easily the most extragavant in the bunch. Get them here, from Forever21, in sizes 6 through 9, with no half sizes in between. They also cost $29.80, which is what you’d expect from Forever21, with their weird prices.

studded peeptoe pumps.

Yay! The only brown pair! Look at those studs. Many people may not like the brown and gold combination, but I find it refreshing, next to black and silver ones. For $32.80, you can pick from sizes 6 through 9 (again, no half sizes), here, at Forever21.

Pleaser Women's Lip-153 Sandal

pleaser women's lip-153.

Last in the list, are these five inchers, from Pleaser, a brand known for their sexy shoes. You can find them here, at Shoes.com. They are $44 and come in sizes 5 through 16 (!!!) with no half sizes. Good luck walking in them, though.

-stylistanumberone ;D